Will Rogers: All-American Wit

 

            One of the most beloved Americans of all time was humorist Will Rogers (1879-1935). An Oklahoma native, part Indian and all cowboy, he started off in show business doing rope tricks onstage. He added some commentary, jokes and witticisms, and before he knew it, he was famous. But he always stayed humble and down to earth. He hit the heights of political influence early in the 20^th Century with a before-his-time national newspaper column and radio show.

 

            He was known for his homespun humor, kindness and good sense. On his tombstone are these endearing words, which he said a lot: "I never met a man I didn't like."

 

 

           

You can learn more about Will Rogers on www.willrogers.org

 

            Here are some of his best-known sayings:

 

All I know is what I read in the papers.

 

They may call me a rube and a hick, but I'd a lot rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge than the man who sold it.

 

Everybody is ignorant. Only on different subjects.

 

This country is not where it is today on account of any one man. It is here on account of the real common sense of the Big Normal Majority.

 

I don't care how little your country is, you got a right to run it like you want to. When the big nations quit meddling then the world will have peace.

 

People talk peace. But men give their life's work to war. It won't stop 'til there is as much brains and scientific study put to aid peace as there is to promote war.

 

Take diplomacy out of a war and the thing would fall flat in a week.

 

You can be killed just as dead in an unjustified war as you can in one protecting your own home.

 

People don't change under governments. Governments change. People remain the same.

 

As bad as we sometimes think our government is run, it is the best run I ever saw.

 

Nowadays it is about as big a crime to be dumb as it is to be dishonest.

 

There is no income tax in Russia. But there's no income.

 

We elect our Presidents, be they Republican or Democrat, then start daring 'em to make good.

 

Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it.

 

Live your life so that whenever you lose, you are ahead.

 

My ancestors didn't come over on the Mayflower, but they met the boat.

 

Personally, I have always felt the best doctor in the world is the Veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what's the matter. He's just got to know.

 

No man is great if he thinks he is.

 

America is a land of opportunity and don't ever forget it.

 

People are marvelous in their generosity if they just know the cause is there.

 

No nation ever had two better friends that we have. You know who they are? The Atlantic and Pacific oceans.

 

I am just an old country boy in a big town trying to get along. I have been eating pretty regular and the reason I have been is because I have stayed an old country boy.

 

Don't gamble. Take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it 'til it goes up then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it.

 

Whoever wrote the Ten Commandments made 'em short. They may not always be kept but they can be understood.

 

Statistics have proven there are twenty five bath tubs sold to every Bible.

 

We'll hold the distinction of being the only Nation in the history of the world that ever went to the poor house in an automobile.

 

We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of others.

 

Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

 

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

 

Some people try to turn back their odometers.  Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way.  I've traveled a long way and some if the roads weren't paved.

 

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

 

You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

 

I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

 

One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.

 

One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.

 

Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

 

Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft.  Today it's called golf

 

If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.

 

By Susan Darst Williams • www.GoBigEd.com • After School Treats 024 • © 2006